Window
by TheAUWalker
Summary: Amy feels terribly ugly inside and at the end of the day, alone with the creaking floorboards, it is not what she wanted at all. 'Let's Kill Hitler'-centric, oneshot.


Sometimes Amy Pond honestly felt out of place, and it was not a sensation she took a liking to.

She always knew where she stepped and where she treaded, what she was going to say. It annoyed her when she was confused or had too much time to decide on something-because then she would doubt her choices and that never turned out well. But, like now, when she felt angry and stupid and jealous and sad all at once, out of place in her own skin, she wanted to throw up. Amy was angry at Mels, okay. That really wasn't anything new. She got angry at her best mate a lot(especially when her phone call to come bail her out came at three in the morning) but this time it just felt...different. It had all started when Amy opened her stupid mouth about the Doctor. She'd never given up on hoping that he'd come back, some day. And Rory was always happy to play with them and he didn't talk about it a lot, only jumped in when Amy did. But Mels was always getting into trouble over it in class, always making up her own stories and after a while Amy grew sort of sick of it. He was her Raggedy Doctor.

Amy knew it was stupid. Obviously she didn't own him and Mels was free to think about him however much she liked.

Deep down, Amy knew that wasn't what she really felt.

Her fingers were tight on the steering wheel, the vibrant colour on her nails popping. Rory would glance at her every few seconds-he was picking up that she was upset, and Mels didn't notice, animatedly chatting to them in the back seat. They had picked her up, again, and Amy was tight-lipped and Rory sort of sat there, trying to figure out if he should push or not.

"And he said-wait, where are you going?"

"Your flat."

There was unusual venom in Amy's words, and Mels was quiet for a second, confused.

"Uh...why?"

"That's where you live, isn't it?"

There was no answer, and for once, it was quiet. Rory shifted awkwardly and when Mels had slammed her door with a brief "thanks" he finally opened his mouth.

"What's wrong, Amy?"

"Nothing."

She could feel him looking at her.

"Stop that, Rory."

"Sorry." he said quietly, turning to look out the window.

Rory was always apologizing for things that weren't really his fault-and in a rare moment, Amy felt guilt. He did put up with her a lot.

"I just...no, you'll think I'm stupid."

"I've never thought that."

Amy wasn't listening, she had decided that she wanted to say it anyway.

"The Doctor was my story in the beginning, you know? And now Mels goes out of her way to..."

"I don't think she means to." Rory said truthfully. "I think that she might be as excited as you are-"

"You don't see me getting arrested for it!" Amy slams her hand down on the wheel, and her hair flies forward in a red haze. Rory watches it for a second, almost wistfully.

"I know, Amy. But Mels has always been more...out there."

"That's stupid, Rory. Shut it."

He didn't answer, and Amy was still waiting for his response to her joke. He did know it had been a joke, right? 

"Rory?"

"What?"

"You didn't really have to shut it."

"Oh."

"So, say something." Amy gave a little obvious laugh.

"Why did you drop Mels off?" He asks.

"Um...because that's where she lives?"

"The three of us just always go back to your house, that's all."

Amy shrugs.

"What's the big deal, Rory? She can stay at her own place for once."

"Not really."

It is quiet, and Amy feels that rush of guilt again-she has dropped Mels off at a place where no one is ever home and it is possibly the worst living enviorment she has ever seen.

"Do you like her or something?"

Amy is being mean, she knows it, but she has to cover up for how ugly she is feeling.

"Of course."

"Like love, idiot."

"Oh. No."

"Then don't make such a big deal out of it."

When they are turning and Amy tilts her head to look at him, he is staring out the window, still in his mint green scrubs.

"There you are."

Rory opens his mouth but shuts it, abruptly, and it is perhaps that action that makes Amy want to erase this whole day and start over. He goes up the walkway to the building his flat is in and does not look back and when Amy gets home and she is all alone, it is not what she wanted at all.


End file.
